What is a Sex Recession? and are we in one?
Are you a man ages 13-44? I’ve got news for you! According to recent news, we’re in a sex recession. Millennial and Gen Z men have been having less sex in recent years in comparison to past generations. A recent study found that men in these younger generations are having 30–50% less sex than men from past generations. Your father had more sex than you? Apparently so!
This isn’t just a statistic—it’s a cultural shift with real impacts on men’s mental health, confidence, and relationships.
The decline in sexual activity is also a great manifestation of people leading their dating experiences with empty online chats, provocative and perverted sexual messages, checking boxes instead of focusing on shared chemistry. Do you know how many people have come in and out of my office with the inability to pick someone up they find attractive just based on self-esteem, confidence and chemistry? Shocking numbers of them.
People ask me all the time, is there hope?
I tell people in my office, we can’t hope, we must just know.
Change comes with choosing to behave differently, and I hope you reading this and anyone else in my office is held accountable for the choices they make and how they behave.
The question it leaves me with is this: how is it that such a sexually obsessed generation of men are having so little of it?
I have been in private practice as a sex therapist for over a decade and I’ve met a lot of men. What I have come to understand is that many men are feeling less comfortable in their masculinity. What does it mean to be a man anymore these days anyway?
If you’re a Millennial or Gen Z man struggling with intimacy, low sexual desire, or relationship challenges, working with a sex therapist can be life-changing. Through therapy, men learn how to manage anxiety, rebuild confidence, and create meaningful connections that go beyond the screen.
I’ve taught many men how to connect with women, how to pick them up, how to feel sexy in themselves as men in the world, and how to enjoy sex as more of an experience than a performance or evaluation of their masculinity.
NBC Washington posted a news segment the other day about a few reasons one psychiatrist thinks that men are having less and less sex and I’ve added to the list!
Gender Norms
In some sense, it’s beautiful that we’ve been able to challenge gender norms, empower women and equality across genders in the home, world and workplace. But it’s also created a new narrative for men all over the world. Stay at home dads are challenged by their choice to take care of their kids, while their wife makes the money to provide. We’ve historically never seen these dynamics before, and it makes sense why men learning to live in them may feel confused by them; thus impacting their masculinity and feeling desire or even, desired.
Disconnection and Loneliness
One of the biggest reasons is loneliness. Many men today report struggling to build deep, authentic connections. Instead of focusing on shared chemistry, dating has become about checking boxes on apps. Without genuine emotional intimacy, sexual intimacy often struggles to follow.
Smartphones and Comparison Culture
While texting and smartphones make communication easier, they also amplify comparison. Social media highlights the “best moments” of others’ lives, fueling anxiety and self-doubt. That anxiety leads many men to avoid putting themselves out there, further reducing opportunities for real-world sexual and romantic experiences.
Pornography as the Easier Option
Research shows that 75% of men under 18 have watched porn, and 50% of young men report using it within the last month. Porn offers instant gratification without risk of rejection—but it can also create unrealistic expectations and reduce motivation to pursue genuine, vulnerable sexual relationships.
Financial Pressures
Economic struggles are another factor. Unlike previous generations, many young men face high living costs, student loan debt, and financial instability. Dating feels expensive, and financial stress often lowers confidence, which directly impacts sexual desire and intimacy.
Health and Hormonal Factors
Rising obesity rates may be connected to lower testosterone levels and even high estrogen in men. Low testosterone can reduce sex drive, energy, and performance. It can cause erectile dysfunction, leading to less sexual confidence in the few times that younger men even have sex. See the problem? Obesity can also cause a rise in estrogen in men, which lowers their sex drive, increases body weight and decreases their arousal and self confidence in themselves as men. When men feel physically unhealthy, it often carries over into their sexual confidence and relationships.
Can Sex Therapy and Hormone Health Coaching Help you have more sex?
At my practice, we also integrate women’s and men’s hormone health coaching, which looks at how biological factors like testosterone and stress hormones impact mental health and sexual functioning. This unique, holistic approach helps men understand both the psychological and physical aspects of their sexuality—something you won’t find in most therapy settings.
You don’t have to settle for loneliness or avoidance. With the right tools and support, it’s possible to create relationships that feel exciting, connected, and fulfilling.
Ready to start your journey toward better intimacy and sexual health? Contact Dr. Carli Blau, licensed psychotherapist and sex therapist in New York, New Jersey and Florida or someone on her clinical team, and take the first step toward building the relationships and sex life you deserve.
Millennials (a.k.a. Generation Y)Born: ~1981–1996 (some definitions stretch 1980–1997)Current age in 2025: ~29–44 years oldKey traits: Grew up during the rise of the internet, social media, and smartphones. They’ve experienced both an analog childhood and a digital adulthood. Known for valuing experiences, work-life balance, and authenticity.
Gen Z (Generation Z)Born: ~1997–2012 (sometimes listed as 1995–2010)Current age in 2025: ~13–28 years oldKey traits: The first “digital natives” — raised with smartphones, WiFi, and social media from a young age. More socially aware, diverse, and open about mental health and identity. Often pragmatic and entrepreneurial, but also facing high rates of anxiety, loneliness, and economic pressure.
